Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Do Over

Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to start over? You wake up, refreshed from the day before, ready to go, the morning goes smoothly, and then BAM, it hits you like a brick. Tuesday through Friday, the girls and I have pretty much the same routine. I get up at 6:15am, shower, blow dry my hair, make-up, and get dressed. If you know me, I would rather sleep in until the girls wake up, but I prefer to take a shower in privacy with no screaming, no one trying to get in the shower with me, climb on the toilet or wrestle with the dog. If I am able to accomplish this, I feel pretty good about the rest of my day.

Today started out really well. I actually had to wake up both the girls. (This is a rarity for me.) Usually they are up before I'm done blow drying my hair. Anyway... everyone is dressed, had their medicine, vitamins, breakfast, pottied and we are out the door at 8:25am. Yeah!!! We had Mops today, which I was so looking forward to. The girls were having their Valentine's Day party and we had a wonderful speaker joining us to talk about marriage & relationships. He was funny, witty and had some good advice. I am the coordinator for the Mops group and have been since September. I have really enjoyed being the coordinator. All of the ladies are wonderful and I consider them part of my family. But... being coordinator has caused me some stress. This is stress I put on myself, not from anyone or anything else.

I know it's just me. I'm too hard on myself. I've been told this a million times. This is what I do. As soon as I get in the car with the girls to head home, I start replaying the day. Did I sound okay, did I miss something, did the moms like the speaker, were there enough forks and spoons, do the moms enjoy their time w/o their children (that's a silly question) and do they feel the meetings meet their needs? Okay, this is what I do every single time. I need HELP!!!! I am a people pleaser and have always been. So I think today I would like a Do Over. I would like to do it over again, just so I can sit back and relax and know that everyone is taken care of & that I shouldn't worry so much.

As I am writing this, I know I sound crazy. I think as women, wives, mothers and daughters we are just too hard on ourselves. We all need to just take a "chill pill" and relax. The world is not going to stop spinning if something isn't just right. So... I am going to chill out today and relax while my two beautiful girls have some quiet time and realize that everything is okay and that my little part of the world isn't going to stop spinning because I wish I could have a "Do Over". I'll do it over on another day!!

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Aubrey, everything was FABULOUS! I know exactly how you feel, though, because I was in your position, and I would have small anxiety attacks over it! ;) no one knew any different, and everything was ALWAYS fine! Don't worry, you're right, no one has higher expectations about how things should run, except you :) Keep up the good work and relax, because it will all be over soon, and you'll think, "why did I worry so much?" See you tonight!